Should We Get Married?

Choosing A Partner With An Attitude

In deciding whether to get married, there are many decisions to consider.  You are trying to decide if this partner will be someone you can live with forever.  You are trying to decide how this person might enrich your life.  You are trying to decide if you will have compatible life visions and trying to figure out if this person meets your relationship essentials.

One of many essential requirements you will be considering is attitude. I received this anecdote the other day that I feels best explains the difference that a positive attitude can make. It is a story about choices to help you in your choice. It is a tale that just might help you think about what you can or can’t control in becoming the kind of person your potential spouse would choose.

John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

Relationship Advice from Dell Customer Service

What relationship advice can Dell Customer Service teach us about marriages?  Well, we can learn what NOT to do.

I have to tell you Sunday was a horrible day.  For 8 hours we struggled with Dell Support after our computer locked up.  It was unnecessary.  It was frustrating.  It became apparent that Dell spends all their time and energy courting you to buy but absolutely no time, energy or resources supporting you once you have bought.

This got me to wondering if this is how we treat marriages in our society today.   Do we spend all our time, energy and resources searching for the perfect mate but once we “buy”, customer service and satisfaction is a joke? It is believed that the average married couple spends less than 28 minutes per week (not per day) on average communicating.

We wouldn’t buy a car without thinking of maintaining it… hopefully.  We expect to take care of our physical wellbeing if we want to stay healthy but once we walk down the aisle, it is too easy to assume our marital wellbeing is a done deal and neglect the very thing that needs to be nurtured to remain vital. 

Just like with Dell’s Technical Support, when you are not supported or if the advertising is false, you look else where.  Frustration forces us to look for other options. 

Keep reading the rest of my Dell Technical Support Saga and let me know if you see additional relationship tips you might glean from Dell’s horrible customer support.

Marijuana Problem In Relationship

Dear June,

I have a woman friend I am deeply committed to. She has a problem with smoking marijuana for the last 15 years. She is currently working with a trusted therapist and her medical doctor to find answers for ending her habit. She wants to quit but has had terrible reactions with all the medical prescriptions given by her doctor in the past. This leaves her unwilling to attempt new treatments. However, she says she will keep trying.

She is very energetic and believes she is gifted or has ADD/ADHD. I've seen how being away from pot leaves her unfocused and easily distracted by all that goes on around her. This, she says, makes her edgy, highly irritable, and hard to live with her own emotions and racing thoughts. I used to believe the pot could do only harm (besides the obvious legal issues). However, I don't like to admit, I see it as an effective remedy for her overstimulation.

Is this issue big enough to keep a couple from getting married? There are children involved in our relationship - my 4 yr old son and 14 yr old step son and her 12 and 15 yr old boys and 14 yr old daughter. By all outward appearances, the children are well adjusted and have normal relationships. I feel if we would not survive this issue, at least I am somehow meant to be there for her kids and help them to overcome some of the fallout, should they need help.

J

Long Distance Relationships

Dear June,

How do we make our long distance relationship work?  I live in Long Beach and my partner lives in Memphis, Tennessee.  He won't consider relocating.  Do I need to relocate to save our relationship?